I made the mistake of marrying a Narcissist.
It has been almost a year since he left me (and our children) and yet I am still nowhere near being officially divorced.
Why you ask? First off, the state of California does have a 6 month time frame and there was also a delay in the initial filing due to a deployment which he did not even complete. But once something was filed the clock started ticking and even the 6 months should be up by now. Primarily, he will not agree to terms (regarding money) for the final judgment (divorce decree) and he keeps dragging me back to court because he is unhappy with the amount of support he has to pay.
He is of course paying child support and he is also paying spousal maintenance A.K.A. alimony, which I think he never imagined he would have to pay. I have not had a full-time job in over 13 years. I have had a few part-time work from home jobs but nothing that relates to relevant experience to help me get a job outside of the home now. I have primarily been a stay at home mom for the last 13 years. All this qualifies me to receive spousal maintenance and he is really pissed-off about that.
Somehow he seemed to think he could walk away from his wife and children and pay very little... Well, reality check! It does not work that way. I am afraid he is going to continue to drag me back to court on a regular basis for the next 10 years, until both our kids are over 18 and he no longer has to help support them... In which case I will constantly be in-debt to a lawyer.
I want to save up money so I can buy my own house, I want to get out of debt, yet, already I have had to borrow money from family to pay lawyer fees. How am I supposed to move on with my life if he keeps dragging me back to court for ridiculous reasons because he does not like what the judge decided?
There are people out there who want to abuse the legal system and there has to be something that I can do to prevent him from doing this to me? I have been Googling in hope to find some solution so I do not have to continue to suffer and be in debt for years to come. So far, my lawyer has said we could charge him with harassment if it continues, but that will still cost me. At least if it works ideally it will stop him from continuing to file frivolous motions again and again.
I did find this article in my searching "Using the family court system to abuse a spouse". Also the term a "Vexatious Litigant" which in my understanding is basically someone who abuses the legal system and when someone is charged as such they will be put on a list so that anything they want to file has to be approved by a judge first BEFORE it gets filed! I like that idea, may be what my lawyer had in mind by charging him with harassment.
I thought this was funny!