Sunday, September 30, 2012

Stay Put
"Ask Mrs. Marine"

Dear Mrs. Marine,
During deployments, do you stay put or do you move back home with family or closer to family?

~Stay put?

Dear Stay Put,
Every time a deployment rolls around I get the same question from other wives "are you going home for deployment?" Meaning "home" as in where I am originally from, which to me, that's not my home anymore. My home is wherever we are currently stationed. Out of our 8 deployments so far, I have moved back in with family for 1 of them, only because the initial plan then was we were getting out after the deployment. Obviously that didn’t happen. It made me feel like I lost a sense of my independence. It was nice to have the support of my family, but all in all, I prefer staying put if at all possible. Primarily, I don’t want to uproot my kids from their home. I feel it makes the separation even harder on them.

It seems like many wives think "my husband is deploying so I need to leave too." So they move back with their families for the entire deployment, uprooting children and leaving friends behind. It’s hard for me to understand why anyone would want to do that. Do they feel they can’t survive without their husbands, they can’t be alone? It makes it harder on the wives who stay because not only does your husband leave, but your friend leaves too. It makes everyone want to leave, it’s a domino effect.

In my experience, if you stay put and tough it out, you will find strength and independence you never knew you had. You have to test yourself in order to find out what you’re truly capable of. I have learned so much about myself since I became a Military wife. I am a strong woman and you can be too if you give yourself a chance to spread your wings.



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