Monday, August 27, 2012

First deployment, first baby
"Ask Mrs. Marine"


Dear Mrs. Marine,
I am 21 with a handsome baby boy! I am going through my first deployment with my husband and man do I get down a lot. What do you do to keep busy? Also, I'd like some advice on how to manage a 'newer' marriage, first deployment, AND a new baby without feeling overwhelmed. I try to keep my hubby as involved in what’s going on as possible but I don't want to over-do it or under-do it. He works ALL the time and rarely gets any time for himself so I feel like the last thing I should do is bombard him with things from home that will just remind him of how much he misses everyone!

~First deployment, first baby

Dear First’s,
I feel we all struggle at times to “keep busy” during deployment because if you don’t, time seems to slow down. It’s simple enough in theory, think about what you enjoy doing, and get out and do it! If you’re on or near a base, your husband’s unit should have activities for the wives and family. Attending those is a great way to make friends and interact with other wives whose spouse is also deployed.
Make it a plan to have dinner once/twice a week with other “lonely wives” you know. Also, look online and around the base for a new mommy group. It’s always nice to know other moms with kids the same age as yours. Do NOT allow yourself to sit around and mope, it will not do you, or your baby boy, any good.
My husband has deployed many times. When he is gone I am a "married single parent" it’s not easy. I am their sole provider, it can be draining but after a while I get used to doing it all on my own. Daily life becomes very routine and sometimes the days seem to mesh together. The key is to find things to break up the monotony.
You have the right idea about not bombarding your husband. Keep the info you tell him positive if you can, he needs to know you can handle everything on the home front. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, "I can do this!"

Sincerely,


Trisha

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