Thursday, March 29, 2012

Evolution of Friendship; Easy to Difficult

When we're little;
Your at the park playing, another child your age arrives, you start to play together and your instant best friends.
It's easy, simple, effortless.

As children get a little older;
You ask the other child their name and ask, do you want to play with me? Play becomes more of a game, sometimes quiet elaborate, there is collaboration involved between you and your friends. Arguments erupt when you don't agree on the same concept. However the fights never last long and you are "BFF's" again. It's still easy to make friends.

Somewhere towards the middle/end of the elementary years "clicks" are formed at school. All of a sudden kids are separated into different groups. Were not allowed to be "everyone's" friend anymore. These "clicks" only get worse as we move into Junior High and High School. It makes it difficult for an outsider, for the new kid. Friendships become so much more complex. Something simple can cause a teenager to be judged, exiled, bullied.

WHY? Friendship is so easy when were little. Why does it have to become so difficult.
As we become adults, sometimes "clicks" still exist in the work place...

I was the child, just like my daughter, who was the social butterfly, I wanted to be everyone's friend. I was, when it was easy. As I got older and making friends becomes harder, I became the shy kid. It became difficult for me to make friends. I have a hard time approaching people.

I worry so much about my daughter following the same path that I did. She may be a social butterfly now, but I worry whatever triggered my shyness to begin will happen to her. It seems like she has social skills, which she does, but her skills are not appropriate. Their over the top!

She constantly interrupts people, conversations are very one sided and she will change the topic to whatever pops in her head at the moment. She will talk on an on and on about what interest her, not noticing that the other person is bored. She talks loud (which makes it difficult to sit next to her) and she socializes during class when it's not appropriate.

All of these things, are because she has Asperger's. I am working on getting her into ABA Therapy. I hope to be able to teach her appropriate social skills (among other things) so that she doesn't have the difficulty with socializing that I did/do.



  1. I now have a copy of your button because I like so totally agree. Have a great weekend. Didn't you have a Friday meme? Where's that at? I'm sooooooooo confused.

  2. My 10 year old daughter was just diagnosed with Asperger's, so trust me, I understand your worries and fears. In so many ways, I look back on my childhood and early 20's and recognise that I have it too, and that things might have been so much easier if I had help. Hopefully it will be easier for them.


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