Last week I "attempted" to attend a Parent Coffee Hour for the EFMP (explained in this post), outside the Starbucks on base. I went last month and met 3 other women who were there, one of which I expected to see again this month. Well, she wasn't there.
I thought I recognized one of the women that was at last month's meeting, sitting at a table talking with a 2 other people. But I wasn't totally sure if it was her or not.
So, after Booboo and I went inside Starbucks to get me a iced coffee and him a large piece of chocolate chip banana bread (so good), I decided to sit at a empty table next to them.
I was really hoping the woman would remember me or Booboo and invite us over to their table. But that didn't happen. So I kept waiting, for a break in the conversation where I could go over and ask if they were there for the Coffee Hour. But I couldn't seem to make myself go over to the table.
And the longer I sat there the more stupid I felt for not walking up to them in the first place...
After about 45 minutes, Booboo was long done with his banana bread and getting restless, my coffee was gone, so I just gave up and left. I wasted my time, my money (I wouldn't have gone into Starbucks otherwise) and made myself feel really stupid in the process...
I was so proud of myself last month because I did actually go up to complete strangers, asked if they were there for the Coffee Hour and introduced myself. But I couldn't do it this time... Once I sat down, I just became glued to my chair.
I am horrible at meeting new people. I always have been. I get this anxiety in social situations with new people. It is nearly impossible for me to strike up a conversation with a stranger.
Why should it be so hard to go up to someone and introduce myself?
One of the many trials with the Military Life is that we move every few years and leave friends behind. It's not that I wont keep in touch, but everyone needs friends who are local as well. I need to be able to make friends easily because they are constantly coming and going in my life. But as much as I try, I'm just not that person. I wish I could be... I wish it was easier for me...