Thursday, May 06, 2010

I'm a Married Single Parent

I am so tired of doing it all alone. I am tired of putting on a happy face and pretending its all OK when its definitely not. This is our 7th deployment in 8 years. My husband has had more deployments than other men who outrank him and have been in much longer than him. How is that fair? And the worst part is, there is already talk of more training and another deployment not long after he gets back. So I have nothing to look forward to. There is no light at the end of my tunnel. Just more loneliness.
We weren't supposed to have another deployment after the last one. Hubby was going to get out of the Marine's. But we ended up having no choice financially but to stay in. Not to mention if he didn't reenlist Hubby was going to be sent overseas for the last year he was in (without us). So I still would have been alone for an entire year. As apposed to just a 6 month deployment. There was no easy solution.

I am a horrible cook when Hubby is gone. How am I supposed to make a meal when I have two extremely picky children who wont even eat it and then have a tone of leftovers. Half the time I'm not that hungry for dinner anyway and there is no one to appreciate it if I do cook. As much as I dont want to I end up giving in and just making whats easy that I know my kids will eat. Its just easier to avoid any arguments and the frustration of trying to get them to eat what they dont want. Its not like I give them junk food for dinner, I try to make it as healthy as possible. Bobo is worse than Princess these days. He's not yet old enough that I can bargain with him to get him to eat, and he wont even try anything new.

I'm a married single parent. It sucks. I'm almost never without my kids. Don't get me wrong, I love them both dearly. But come-on, everyone needs a break once in a while. I do have my neighbor who watches them for me sometimes. But I dont like to ask her unless I have to. I dont want to take advantage of her.
At least when Princess is in school I can run errands during the day and only have one child in tow. But she is out of school for summer break at the end of the month... As bad as it sounds, I'm not looking forward to that. School is the only way I know what day of the week it is. Without school, all the days will just mesh into one another and Time Will Stand Still. There will be no difference between Tuesday and Saturday, nothing to break up the monotony. I'm gonna go crazy.


Mrs. Marine



Trisha

6 comments:

  1. omg i so feel you on this. We have had 2 back to back deployments and im surprised that we even have time to MAKE a second child let alone have him there to meet her once. (well it feels like that). I totally get where you feel like going crazy. I sit and cry sometimes for days because i havent seen my family in 5 years. Not having family around to help with kids is almost life threatening some days. I tried doing school as well and last 1 year before i had a melt down of stress.
    I will so pray that you (and so many other military moms) can get through this (semi sane).
    Army Wife 101 is another Married Single Mom, check her out too.
    Keep in touch :-)
    Praying for a safe return of your hubby too! Mine is due back shortly but we all know how long that lasts!
    Much Much love!
    ang

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  2. Sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm a married single parent as well, though not because of deployment. My husband and I have been separated and I am raising our special needs child by myself.
    Hang in there. You're doing the best you can in the situation you're in and that's all you can do.
    (((Hugs)))

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  3. Wow, how on earth did he get that many deployments? I'm so sorry lady, prayers coming your way!

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  4. First of all.....I just want you to know how much respect I have for you. Dear Lord, how do you do it all alone? YOU ARE A SAINT! I'm married to an accountant and I complain because he works so much during the week. My heart goes out to you.....honestly...xoxo.

    I'm a new follower and I'd love if you followed me too.

    HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!
    xoxo,
    Carol

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  5. I'm so sorry! I can't imagine what it must be like. I hate when DH goes on a week or so vacation. Can't imagine him being gone for that long. I do thank you both for your sacrifice, and will keep praying for you! Hugs!!!

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  6. You can do it! Find a play group during the summer, library time, the beach ... anything to keep busy. And maybe a new hobby for yourself after they've gone to bed.

    Deployments are hard, but keep your head up and soon you'll have made it through this round.

    Holly
    accompaniedtour.blogspot.com

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