Thursday, April 22, 2010

Aloha Friday #21 Jokes

What's Aloha Friday? It all started at An Island Life
In Hawaii, Friday is the day to relax and take it easy. So, I take it easy on posting!
Aloha Friday
I ask a question and you answer it in a comment. Play along and write your own "Aloha Friday" post then leave your link with Mr. Linky and Ill be sure to stop by and answer your question!

Question of the day:
What's Your Favorite Joke? Tell me a joke, I could use a laugh.

Mrs. Marine



  1. hmm... that is a hard one. I am so bad at jokes. I always forget the punchline. lol! I will think about it and come back tomorrow. :)

  2. ok!! Knock knock~who's there??Boo.Boo~Hoo..Don't cry it's only a joke!!!LOL
    it's the first one that popped in my head!!!Aloha

  3. Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Ach who?
    Bless you.

  4. There was a contruction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death.

    He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said "Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell."

    The worker agreed - not like he could do anything else - and he was on his way.

    When he arrived, the devil looked at him and said, "Ah! A new slave. We shall burn you and throw you in the fiery pits."

    Then the worker replied, "That wall could use a bit of patching. I could fix it first and you could throw me in the pit afterward." So he fixed the wall.

    Satan, intrigued, asked, "What else can you build?"

    So the construction worker went about his job and made many improvements; in fact, by the time he was done, hell was a paradise. It had air conditioning, pools, balconies, you name it.

    Within a few days, God phoned Satan and said, "I think there has been a mix-up. That worker was originally supposed to come to heaven."

    Satan replied, "No way -- he's built all sorts of useful stuff for us. We're keeping him."

    God then said, "Oh, yeah? Well, I'll see you in court. We're going to sue you for this man's soul and damages."

    Satan just laughed: "And where are you going to find a lawyer?"

  5. Ok here's a joke :

    so this girl came up to me and asked "What does idk mean?" I told her, "I don't know" and she said, " Uggh why does everyone say that?"

  6. i literally don't know any jokes.. yeah i am as lame as that:P.. but if you need comedy you gotta meet up with my BIL.. he's an authentic clown:)

  7. I always mess up jokes so I'll pass.

    Have a great weekend!

  8. Here's one my Mother told the last month she was alive. We were at the Hospital, the Doctor came into the room and she told him this joke.

    On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you and one for me." said the one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the Fence. Another boy come riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slow down to check, sure enough he heard "One for you, one for me. One for you one for me." He knew just what it was. "Oh My", he shuddered, "It's Satan and the Lord dividing the souls at the Cemetery." He jump back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick" said the boy. "You won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.".The man said, "Beat it kid,Can't you see it's hard for me to walk?" When the boy insisted though the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing at the fence they heard "One for you, one for me, One for you , one for me....." the old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord himself." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were sill unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard, "one for you, one for me." And one last " one for you one for me. That's all.
    Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and We'll be done."
    They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.

  9. This one is from Princess Nagger so I can't take any credit for it:

    Say 'Hi' to your knee!

    Go ahead...


  10. Wow, it is WAY too early for my brain to think of a joke right now...sorry. My two boys (6 and 2) are really into knock-knock jokes.

  11. I have drawn a blank. Go figure.

    Have a great Friday!

  12. Oh darn, I don't have any really good ones. I'm pretty bad at remembering them. This one I always remember, don't know why 'cause it's really a moaner.

    How can find Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?

    He's the one with the sesame seed buns!

    Happy AF...and sorry ;P

  13. I only know rude jokes, so will pass for fear of offending anyone ;-)

  14. Knock Knock
    Whos There
    Boo who
    sorry I made you cry ...This joke brought to you by buggy boy the 7 year old laugh machine =)

  15. Everyone else says this joke isn't funny, but I think it's hilarious.

    A woman goes in a store and gets bread, milk, tampons, rice, cereal, and paper towels. The clerk checking her out is young guy. He looks at her merchandise and and looks at her and says, "You must be single." She looks up amazed and looks at her stuff and says, "Yes, how did you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

    I know - it's awful, but I have always laughed at that - I don't know why!!

  16. I love: Why did half a chicken cross the road? To get his other side.

  17. I'm not very good at jokes. Really! I'm not!
    Happy Aloha Friday!!

  18. Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie?
    Because it was rated Rrrrrrrrrr

  19. LMAO those are all very funny I too could of used a joke.
    What's a great way to annoy someone after telling a joke?

  20. here's a Dirty joke I heard

    A little boy fell in the Mud

  21. Lipstick at School

    According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
    That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

    Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

    There are teachers, and then there are educators...


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