Thursday, August 14, 2008

My daughter's problem...

This is a little embarrassing to admit and very frustrating as well. But I thought I would finally put this problem out there and see if anyone has any suggestions to help us.

My 5 year old wears pull-ups at night because she pees the bed, as far as I can tell its intentional.

The thing is, she will go days or weeks without peeing in her bed. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere she pees in her bed again. Which doesn't make any since. Just this past week, Tuesday morning I went in to get her up for school and she was laying in bed playing her Leapster. She said to me with a smirk on her face "Um, I think I'm wet". She was literally sitting in a puddle of pee on her bed. She had peed so much that she completely saturated her diaper and then it leaked out all over her bed and clothes. She does not want to get out of bed to go to the bathroom.
Then, Wednesday morning she had kept her diaper dry. (I think) She has also claimed to have kept her diaper dry when she actually got up in the middle of the night and put on a dry one after peeing in it. - I knew because I would find a wet diaper in the trash that was not from the previous night.

I have tried everything. Praise, rewards, lots of different rewards, punishments (ex. loosing privileges), and lately I just ignore it all together. I do not give her praise or reprimands for doing either.
Other than Tuesday morning I got mad at her because she just sat there in a puddle, she was awake, there was no excuse for sitting there wet. I have since taken away her Leapster. She seeks out my praise when she stays dry but she will not do it consistently. I think she's just too lazy to get out of bed and she has a diaper on so she doesn't have too. But putting underwear on her wont make a difference because she will still pee in her bed and that just makes my mornings HELL. I don't have the time to give her a bath and wash all her bedding EVERY morning. Which is what made me begin the diapers in the first place. Long ago when she wore underwear to bed and rarely had "accidents". Then she peed in her bed every day for a week straight. So, I went out and bought diapers. I thought at the time, it wouldn't last and she wouldn't like them. NOPE I was wrong, and here I am now....

Help ME, please. I am willing to try anything.

Thanks to everyone for your advice.
Linda, I have thought about making her clean herself up. And once I did make her take her sheets to the wash but she seemed to think it was fun. So I didn't think it would work. But maybe if I keep it up it wont be fun for long. My hard part will be letting/making her do Everything. And I'm afraid it will take too long in the morning when she has school and make us late. I'll have to get her up earlier than I do now to ensure I have enough time. Right now I get her up at 7:30 which she is already awake and laying in bed. Very rarely does she get up to go potty before I get her out of bed. She wakes up in the morning but doesn't get out of bed to potty. Urrg.
I don't get it, its gross and her pull-ups smell bad in the morning. How does that not bother her, the smell, the wetness, sitting in a wet bed??? I really hope my son is easier.
I am going to use up the pull-ups she has left and inform her that I'm not buying anymore once there gone. Then I will make her clean herself up along with everything else. Hopefully she will get tired of doing it very quickly.



  1. Have you had her tested for food allergies? Since I did that with my daughter and pulled all foods she is allergic to from her diet, she has stopped wetting the bed.

  2. I wish I had some advice. Good luck. I am curious to know what to do too. My son is 3 and I'm afraid of the bed wetting situation so I put them on him. I suspect I will be doing it until he's 5 too?

    Hopefully you'll get some great advice.

  3. My 4 year old son had a habit of wetting his pants when playing (because he just didn't want to stop his play to go to the bathroom). We did everything like you did (put him back in diapers, took away privileges, etc). But the first time that we made him SCRUB his underpants and shorts and socks in the sink (and believe me, he DID scrub, and hard, too - those were cleaner than the washing machine ever got them, lol), he STOPPED doing it all the time. We will have a RARE occasional accident.

    My suggestions for liquids for an hour before bed. Make your daughter go to the bathroom right before bed, and then wake her 2 hours later and make her go again.

    Don't let her sleep in. Wake her early and make her go to the bathroom.

    Put her in her panties. Don't give her the diaper/pull-up to fall back on. Even though she's only 5, she can be responsible enough to change the bed. Show her how to run the washing machine (or at the very least, put the dirty linens in the tub for you to run in the a.m.). Show her where the extra sheets are. Don't leave a set out "just in case", but make her do the entire thing. Make sure you have a plastic sheet on the bed (the crinkly the better, so as to inconvenience her sleep) and show her where the disinfectant spray is. Make sure she knows how to use it. If you lay the responsibility on her to take care of her mess, she is less likely to do it. When she's sitting in bed soaked and KNOWS she's wet, it's deliberate and intentional.

    Of course, with all this, you WILL have to supervise her, but you shouldn't do anything...just tell her what needs to be done next. (i.e.: strip your put the sheets in the washing machine. Take the spray, clean your rubber sheet, etc).

    I would also suggest not allowing any toys on the bed (except for one lovey if needed) and no blankets unless it's cold - just sheets and pillow.

    If she's doing it deliberately, this whole scheme should change things quickly. IF it's another issue (medical or "need to outgrow") it'll continue despite this. My hubby had that problem as a child...and his mom taught him all the necessary things. After going 2 flights (his room was 2nd floor, the washer was basement!) several times, he quickly got used to the routine.

    I know we limited our son's liquid intake and MAKE him go before bed (he puts on his pajamas, goes, has a snack, then we make him go again!) and it helped immensely. He can now sense and wakes up to go in the middle of the night).

    Good luck!

  4. Wow. That is good advice from Linda. I'll bet it would only take once of her having to clean it up and she wouldn't do it any longer. My sister did that when her little one wouldn't make it to the bucket when she puked. One time of cleaning it up and she made it to the bucket every time after that.

  5. With the girls I had them tested for bladder infections just in case, then they had to clean up after themselves. We did use rubber sheets, no pull ups, and I kept some old towels to up on the wet spot till morning. Fabric deodorizer was a must.

    At 5 some times kids still sleep very heavy at night. Baring some sort of physical problem where they don't have control, if they have to clean up after themselves (no big deal, that just how life works)they tend to stop wetting the bed sooner rather then later.

  6. I know I'm a bit late here, but I completely agree with Linda. I also think that if she's all ready awake when you go in at 7:30, then you need to go in earlier. If she's all ready laying there awake, then going in, say 30 minutes earlier, may be what she needs to have done.
    Maybe take all of her toys out of her bedroom so there's nothing to do when she wakes up, except get up.
    I do agree though, if she has to take care of the mess she has made, if it's truly being done out of laziness, she will think twice before doing it the next time. Don't just have her strip the bed, make her put them into the washer. Then, when the washer is done, she has to put them in the dryer and then re-make her bed. Assist as little as possible. It may take some time, but if it puts a stop to the problem, then it will be worth it.

  7. I know I'm VERY late on this, but you need to take her to the dr first when she's having these "accidents" make sure there's not an infection or some other problem going on. It's very, very, very common for children her age to still be wetting the bed at this age. I have many close friends who's children must wear pull ups at night who are older than your daughter for the simple fact that they don't wake up. It's rarely about the amount of liquids they drink before going to bed. If this is something beyond her control, her smiles could be more out of nervousness or embarrassment, even with you. I'd think she was being "lazy" if it was happening during the day all the time, but where she's waking up like that...I'd be taking her to a dr before punishing her.

  8. My daughter was similar. I allowed her to wear diapers when ever she felt she should. I did tell her that she would have to clean her bed if it was wet. Then I started having her wear them under her clothes too. Although she never had an accident before this, I thought it may create a desire to not have to wear diapers under any conditions. I never embarrased her or made her wear them around any other kids, but I kept her in them most all the rest of the time and let her know that she should use them when ever she felt the need. IN about 8 months she decided that she was done with them and things have been fine ever sinse.


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